It is only fitting that on our anniversary that I write on our marriage. What most do not know is that we have been through hell and our marriage has more than survived – it has thrived. From losing jobs to financial disasters, from lost friendships to betrayal, from health scares to accidents, we have seen some things. If it were not for God’s grace and His help, we would not be the man and woman that we are today. It all started when the two became one.
At the altar, our pastor spoke a word over us. Whether he realizes it or not, he said: “your marriage will be the example to other marriages.” I am honored that we have held up that very word. There are many who have come up to us and said that they wish that they had the marriage that we have. I am not bragging at all. To God be the glory for it! In a previous marriage post, I wrote about how important our words are. I felt that it be fitting that I speak on the topic of the two becoming one.
It is easy to get married and then try to live separate lives. When I say easy, I really mean that it is difficult. It is only easy after divorce court. Even then, it isn’t easy. That is why when you become one with your spouse, you become one in every area. You are both now in this together. Many will disagree with this premise and that is fine. I believe that when we say I do, our lives are now one. Our finances, our home, our vehicles, our bodies, etc. Marriage is not a joint venture. There is no 50/50 partnership. It is 100/100. Each person giving their whole because they are whole.
The key to a healthy marriage is being one. King Solomon wrote;
“And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken.” Ecclesiastes 4:12
As we become one, we are empowered to overcome the obstacles before us. We are able to break through the hardships that we encounter. Sara and I could not have overcome all that we have been through if we were not in one accord.
What can you today to be one with your spouse?
Lately, I feel what a lot of writers feel which is that I have hit a barrier as to what to write for my readers. I have no end of content as I have three children, a wife, a job, and a church. It isn’t so much the content has dried up. Perhaps it is the presentation on how to get it from the brain to computer to you, the reader. More so, the barrier is how to get this blog off of the ground and into the homes of more people.
I honestly have been stagnant with my writing over the past few months and stagnant before that in the number of visitors to the page. I plan on continuing to write. I plan on giving you my unfiltered thoughts. I am just not sure about where to go from here with this site. I would love your thoughts on the matter. If you were me, what would you do?
“Kind words are like honey-sweet to the soul and healthy for the body.”
Have you ever heard of the saying, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all?” Perhaps made famous by the fluffy wise rabbit called Thumper from Bambi, we can take a lot of great wisdom from this sage advise. It is often easy to pop off our thoughts and tell people what we think but God’s plan for us is to be slow to speak and quick to listen. I believe that this is extremely true in marriage.
One of the successes that Sara and I have had in our marriage is that we are slow to speak. We have not had an argument (knock on wood) in our marriage. I am not saying we are perfect. I know for a fact that we have both at one time or another have gotten on each other’s nerves. Truth be told, it is more me getting on her nerves than anything. We are both pretty laid back and intentional in our marriage.
What does that mean? We both know that we are going to have bad days. It is a given. Neither one of us has a perfect day especially after all of the hell that we have gone through in our lives. Honestly, we wouldn’t have gotten through these times if it weren’t for this principle. Instead of tearing each other down, we build each other up. We are constantly telling each other how amazing the other person is and how much we love them. Why?
In a world that is constantly tearing you down, why would you want a spouse or friend be around you to be like the world? I know countless marriages where I hear the spouse completely tear the one that they professed their love for at the altar not long ago. It has to scare the living daylights out of the young people who are wanting to get married but see this as a huge deterrent.
One thing that I have told every single engaged individual this; quit listening to other’s marriage advice. Your marriage’s success is up to you. You CAN and WILL have a great marriage is you want it. You would think that this was just a simple message. You would not believe the relief on these young person faces when I tell them this. Sara and I firmly believe that marriage is what you make it.
Is your relationship the way that you want it to be? How can you make it better?
“Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.”
1 Thessalonians 5:18
There are few things in life that can rattle you to the core. One of those is having a car accident. When it is happening, you cannot control what is going on. All you can do is pray. It really isn’t much different than life. You have things that happen in life that you cannot control. A wayward child, an unexplained termination, a divorce, financial loss, cancer, etc. The list could go on and on.
God’s goodness is not reflected on whether your life is going right or wrong. His goodness is reflected by the cross. His goodness is reflected by His Son. There is no other comparison. I had to think about this during the accident I had. As a matter of fact, right after it happened my prayer was “thank you, God.” Why? It could have been a whole lot worse.
I could sit here and complain about the fact that I was in an accident. I could sit here and complain about the fact that I have to look for another vehicle. The fact is that I am alive. I have come a long way. There would have been a time that I would have lost my composure. I would have tried to find blame about it. I would have blamed myself. For me, I made the statement of this; “Blaming myself and being upset will not get my car back and will not reverse time. There’s no reason to do so.”
The reason for this post is to encourage you of this; life is what you make of it whether you are in control or not. It is best said that the biggest illusion is that we have control of anything in our life. Isn’t that true? The fact of the matter is that God is in control of the outcome. He is good. For that, I m eternally grateful!
Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love.
As a writer, there is nothing more daunting than a blank page. Wait…writer’s block is even more daunting. Then, a very close second is a blank page. You think about what you should put down hoping to avoid judgment and criticism which comes regardless. You don’t feel that your words are worth reading. Yet, you know as good as I do that God downloaded something amazing in your heart to show to the world.
There is a never-ending flood of opportunities to offend. Just the same, there is a lot of opportunities to inspire. The writer has plenty of chances to captivate the eyes of his or her audience. When they put down their thoughts, it reveals their true self. Just as the words of others can tear one down, the words that are within us carry more weight than we could ever imagine. Proverbs 18:21 tells us that power and death lie in the tongue.
The page that we found daunting in the beginning is now a page of power. Our voice is heard on that page. Our thoughts are read on it. Our heart is poured out on it. The power of the words we have is carried forever on those pages. Instead of fearing it, we can now wield that power to serve, inspire, love, and care for those who read it.
The Pen is Mightier Than the Sword. This proverb was written in 1839 by Edward Bulwer-Lytton regarding the fact that communication is far better than war. Not only was the communication better, but it also conveyed something that could not be said while thrashing a sword at someone. The writer and his/her pen can change the course of history. Wow!
If you could write anything to change the world, what would you say?