As a parent, you want to believe that you will never lose your…well, for the lack of a better term – crap with your kids. Unfortunately, the other day, I was unsuccessful. I am not proud of it. However, I am not upset about it either. Let’s replay the scenario. Now, out of respect for my kiddos, I won’t use the names. I will, however, elaborate why I lost my….crap.
The girls had their Christmas program and they all had their outfits pick out a week before. Mom had gone through their dresses, had them try it on, and had them get them ready. Sara is an amazing mom and is a lot better at the organizing than I am. I used to be pretty good about it, but she puts me to shame. The night comes when the program was to happen. We all eat tacos for dinner (the kids had been begging and it was a quick dinner for Sara to throw together) and the kids commenced getting ready. One of the said children came into the kitchen. That’s when the party started. She fell in love with this dress. She even tried it on. She put it on recently and just loved this dress. Oh how much she desired to wear this dress until it was time to put it on then suddenly she doesn’t think that it fits right. You know how dresses just magically change overnight (insert sarcastic fatherly tone).
But seriously, she had “loved” this dress until an hour before we were supposed to leave. Through tears and screaming about how much she hates it then saying she wasn’t going, I had a heart to heart with her. At this point, I am no longer cool dad. Sara is in the bedroom upset which is completely understandable. The other two girls have run off into their bedroom to finish getting ready which is code for “dad is about to lose his…crap.” Dad has had enough.
There are two things I cannot stand – mistreating my wife and lying to me. So far, it is not looking pretty. I sat her down and asked her why she was acting this way. She would not tell me why she was acting this way. For 15 minutes we are having this discussion. When I say “we”, I mean “me.” Why? Because she is sobbing over a dress that she just loved to have and now doesn’t like it because “it doesn’t fit right.” Finally, after this 15 minutes of conversation, she lets out that she’s upset because of my work schedule. We have had this discussion before. We have been down the road. This is where I decided to change course.
“Just because life doesn’t happen the way you want it does not give you the right to treat people like dirt.” She got quiet. I continued, “You are not a victim here. You have a roof over your head, food on your table, a Dad and a Mom who love you regardless of how you treat us. You have to buck up and move on.” How often do we act the very same way with God? We cry we scream, we yell, we treat others wrongly, all because our lives aren’t going as planned. Then God reminds us what is in His word and then we have to face the hard reality that we need to buck up and move on. One good thing that comes from Dad losing his…crap, is that not only is the child learning a lesson – so is the parent.
Don’t ever be ashamed of losing your…crap. You are not perfect. Repent. Move on. Then write about it…it is good therapy.