Before writing this blog, something happened that I hate. Something brought up old wounds. Something brought up the pain. Disappointment reemerged in my heart. The problem with disappointment is that so often we let it run our lives. We hold onto it like a long lost puppy or a valuable treasure only to have it let us down yet again. I had to face this disappointment yet again in my life.
You see, for as long as I can remember I had a dream. This dream was to open a full-service coffee shop that would be the living room of our community. All people would be welcome, the community would be served, and great coffee would flow. I truly believed that God wanted me to have this vision in my heart. Yet, it hasn’t come to pass. I drew up the plans, approached people, asked for help, etc. I did it all only to be led to disappointment. The money never came, the support dwindled next to nothing, and everything else took precedence. The dream has temporarily died. It is a disappointment.
Today I saw on Facebook a new place was coming to town that would be a coffee shop. Again, my heart was disappointed. The thing about disappointment is that we are led to believe that we have to bury it down and never express that feeling. However, I don’t believe that is what God would want from us. I believe that He desires for us to sift through that disappointment and still see His goodness through it all.
So, I sifted through the disappointment. I prayed. I thought. And I read. It was then that my bible was opened to Psalms 16:9-11 ‘ Therefore my heart is glad, and my whole being rejoices; my flesh also dwells secure. For you will not abandon my soul to Sheol, or let your holy one see corruption. You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.’
My joy is not in the circumstance. It is not in the dream. It is not in the ability to gain wealth. My joy is in His presence and He has made known to me the path of life. When you sift through that disappointment, look for the good. Look for God in the middle of it. Am I still disappointed? Yes. I am doing everything in my power to not give up on my dream and hold onto Him.