“It is amazing. The simple the knowledge that God is faithful. He is not faithless. He is faith-full, meaning He is full of faith. He is not One who leaves us hanging in the balance, yet He is the One who helps us to become more than we could ever imagine. When we are weak, He makes us stronger.”
Those words above are great, awesome words. They might even inspire you and bring you to a place of hope. Let me be transparent with you for just a moment. Eight years ago, I might have written those words and spoke those words, but I have not always lived out those words. I was rattled with anxiety, fear, worry, etc. I often wondered if TV cameras were following me around to get ideas for the show Monk. This show is based around a detective who is OCD and had fears about every single thing. That was me. There was a perpetual recording device that was replaying every single action that I had ever done in my life (good and bad) and it wore me out watching it.
I still battled with this recorder from time to time. I often wonder if it will ever truly go away. As a parent, I have had to be careful with this. It is easy for you and me as parents to replay every single action to our children that they have done wrong. It’s even easier to for us to keep account of it until the end of all eternity. We will bring it up just make a point. We will use it like a wet noodle making sure that our every single thought revolved around it.
Here’s the thing that I had to learn about that recorder as a parent; it does me no good to have it on. I believe that if we turned off the recorder that our children would have a better life. They wouldn’t wonder if we were mad at them. They wouldn’t coward back in fear because they did something wrong. Now, I don’t want it to be an instrument to condone sin, that’s not it at all. But it does mean that my kids will not have to go along in life wondering if Dad remembers something that I did 25 years ago. I know people that live that way and they wonder why they are sick all the time because their bodies are on replay mode all the time. Turn the tape player off, Dad. It’s time to unwind. It’s time to relax. It’s time to quit trying to find the rewind button. It’s time to move forward. I have to work on this too, friend. It’s not something that comes naturally. It is something that comes from the Holy Spirit to help.
“I am the Lord, and I do not change.” Malachi 3:6
Something that I am steadily learning as a new job seeker is that I have to put my trust fully in the faithful God. I can’t sit here and just say it. I have to believe it and live it. While I am looking I am having to trust Him to direct me. It has not been easy. As a matter of fact this morning before I typed this I had anxiety roll up on me. Not creep. Roll. By the scripture that is helping me right this seconds is the one above “I am the Lord, and I do not change.” Though we waver….He does not.
Find trust in the One who is Faithful. The picture in this post is a photo of our mailbox full of bills that I just paid. Two things could happen here. I could rise up in fear because I just dropped that amount of money into the mail. Or I could be excited and relieved that the One who is faithful…paid for them all.